How to Engage the Rising Generation Before the Wealth Transfer

Most advisors meet the next generation for the first time at exactly the wrong moment.

The inheritance has happened. The family is grieving. New responsibilities have arrived all at once. And everyone is quietly wondering what happens next.

By then, the relationship has already been decided. Not because anyone made a conscious choice, but because relationships are built long before they are tested.

The advisors who retain families across generations rarely begin those relationships at the moment of transfer. They begin years earlier, when there is no urgency, no transaction on the calendar, and no immediate business reason to make the call.

In practice, the work is remarkably straightforward. Build the relationship before the wealth moves. That means one-on-one conversations with adult children, genuine curiosity about who they are as people, and consistent presence that exists independent of any portfolio review. Advisors who do this build relationships that survive a transfer because those relationships were chosen, not inherited by default.

What the Data Says and What Advisors Do With It

The statistic is well known inside the industry. Research from Cerulli Associates shows that the majority of heirs change advisors after inheriting wealth from their parents.

Advisors read that number and conclude they need better onboarding for the next generation. Better introductions at family meetings. A younger advisor on the team to handle the handoff.

Those are tactical responses to a relational problem.

The families that stay together across generations are almost never ones where the advisor scrambled to connect with adult children at the moment of transition. They are the families where the advisor was already part of the story. Where the rising generation had an actual relationship with the person managing the wealth, one they had developed on their own terms, independent of their parents.

Mark Tepsich, co-author of the UBS Family Enterprise Governance Report, draws on data from families with an average net worth of $2.4 billion and reaches a conclusion that applies equally to families with far less. The core challenge is the same across every level of wealth. How are you preparing the next generation to navigate what they are inheriting together?

We explored this in depth during our conversation with Mark on the Visionary Advisor Podcast: what families actually need to navigate wealth across generations, and why the relational infrastructure is almost always the missing piece. You can read the full recap here.

That is a relationship question. Most advisors have not been trained to answer it.

What Heirs Actually Remember

Advisors often assume heirs leave because they want something different. A different investment philosophy. A different generation of advisor. A fresh start.

Sometimes that is true.

More often the reason is much simpler. The advisor knew the portfolio. The advisor knew the parents. But no one had taken the time to know them. Not as future account holders. As people.

An advisor may have managed a family's assets for twenty years and have no idea that the oldest daughter is building a conservation nonprofit, that the youngest son is three years into a business that is not quite working yet, or that neither of them fully understands why the family trust was structured the way it was.

That gap is not unusual. It is the default. And it is exactly what makes a wealth transfer feel like an opening rather than a continuation.

People do not stay loyal to relationships they never chose.

The Conversation That Changes the Trajectory

The advisors who do this well usually begin the same way.

Ask for a meeting. One-on-one, without the parents in the room. No agenda beyond getting to know them.

Most advisors resist this because it feels uncomfortable or presumptuous. They wait for a natural opening, for the primary client to make an introduction, for the adult child to initiate. That opening rarely comes on its own.

The advisors who succeed with the next generation tend to be the ones who simply make the ask. Something like: I have worked with your family for years. I realized I do not actually know you yet. I would like to change that.

What follows is usually not a financial conversation. It is something more useful. What the person is working on. What they think about wealth, especially wealth they did not build. What questions they have never had a trusted person to sit with them on.

One conversation like that lands differently than fifteen years of quarterly performance reports.

Why This Cannot Live in Memory Alone

A single conversation is a beginning. The advisors who actually retain multigenerational families are the ones who kept showing up, year after year, before it was urgent.

That means separate check-ins with adult children, not appearances at the end of the family meeting. It means conversations about values and what the family is trying to accomplish together, not just what the portfolio returned. It means making sure the next generation understands the estate plan before they are handed documents to sign.

Advisors who are serious about multigenerational relationships eventually need somewhere to capture the family context: what matters to each person, the conversations that have already happened, the family's shared values, the questions that are still open. That is one of the problems Total Family was built to solve.

The Question Worth Sitting With

If the primary client passed away tomorrow, what would happen to the family relationship?

Most advisors who answer that question honestly know the answer is not great. Not because they have not tried, but because the infrastructure for the relationship was never built across generations. It was built with one person.

Relationships like the ones worth having accumulate slowly. One conversation. Then another. A graduation. A difficult season. A business decision the person needed to think out loud about.

Over time the advisor becomes someone the family expects to hear from, not because there is a review on the calendar, but because the relationship has become part of how the family operates.

The wealth transfer is not the beginning of that relationship. It is the moment the relationship is tested.

Advisors who wait until the assets move have already waited too long.

Frequently Asked Questions

How can wealth advisors engage the rising generation in legacy planning? The most effective approach is direct relationship-building long before any wealth transfer occurs. That means requesting one-on-one meetings with adult children, having conversations about values and vision rather than financial performance, and maintaining consistent presence independent of the primary client relationship.

Why do heirs change advisors after inheriting wealth? Most heirs change advisors not because of investment performance but because they had no real relationship with the advisor. The advisor knew their parents, not them. When the wealth transferred, there was no existing trust to carry the relationship forward.

When should advisors start engaging the next generation? As early as adult children are willing to meet, ideally a decade or more before any expected wealth transfer. The earlier the relationship is built, the more natural it feels when the transition eventually happens.

What should the first meeting with an adult child actually look like? A listening meeting with no financial agenda. The goal is to understand who the person is, what they care about, and what they have never had a trusted advisor to help them think through. Curiosity in that first meeting is worth more than any credential.

What is multigenerational family engagement in wealth management? Multigenerational family engagement means building direct, personal relationships with every generation of a client family, not just the wealth creator, through consistent contact, values-based conversations, and inclusion in planning long before any transfer occurs.

What tools help advisors manage multigenerational client relationships? Some advisors use CRM systems to track touchpoints. More intentional practices use dedicated family legacy platforms like Total Family, which gives advisors the infrastructure to capture family context, document values, track engagement across generations, and maintain relationship continuity across transitions.

Total Family helps wealth advisors strengthen multigenerational client relationships through family legacy software, guided conversations, and tools that preserve the human side of wealth. Learn more at totalfamily.io.