“Even when you know someone well, I find that if you don’t talk about the little things on a regular basis, it’s hard to talk about the big things.”

— David Brooks, How To Know a Person

Client Experience Spotlight:

Idea: Legacy is broken—and most families don’t even realize it.

Most families aren’t talking about the little things. And because of that, they’re losing the big things. According to a survey by Ancestry, 53% of Americans can’t name all four of their grandparents. Source 

That single stat tells us everything. Legacy, as it’s commonly practiced, is failing.

It’s been reduced to legal documents, tax strategies, and portfolio transfers. If we keep doing it this way—us, our clients—we’ll be forgotten. Our grandkids will live in homes with no stories about the people who built them.

Here’s a place to start: share that stat with your clients and ask,

“What do you want your great-grandkids to know about you?”

Legacy in Practice: Ideas for the Vault

At Total Family, clients have access to a Legacy Vault—a space to store stories, letters, and reflections. Advisors have used prompts like these to help clients begin:

1. Write a letter to each of your children on their birthday. It doesn’t matter how old they are—start now. It can be 10 pages or 10 words. Just start.

2. Reflect on one of these four themes:
   What do you know about hard work?
   What do you know about being a good friend?
   What do you know about failure?
   What do you know about health?

3. Think of someone who has shaped you—someone who may not even realize it. Write them a thank-you letter.

Content Worth Exploring More

Read: Entrusted: Building a Legacy That Lasts by David York

Why It Matters:
David York challenges the transactional view of legacy and makes the case for something more human. He explores how purpose, values, and trust can create a legacy that actually lasts—one your great-grandchildren might still feel.

The Visionary Advisor Podcast

If you want to do legacy differently—and better—the Visionary Advisor Podcast is a good place to start. These conversations are about helping families hold onto what matters: not just assets, but stories, identity, and intention.

Subscribe to The Visionary Advisor Podcast

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