about us

Have you ever wondered if your family is a little... different? Maybe even a little much?

If so, you’re in good company.

Most of us have had that feeling—quietly, privately, maybe even with a laugh or a sigh. After working with thousands of families across the country—from business owners preparing for succession to grandparents writing legacy letters—one thing we know for sure is this:

There’s no such thing as a “normal” family.

Every family has its own rhythms, history, and hopes. We just don’t always get to see how others navigate theirs. That’s where family dynamics comes in.

Don’t worry if you’ve never heard of family dynamics—it was pretty much reserved for billionaires until we came along.  But at its core, family dynamics is simply about being intentional with the most important relationships in your life.  Investments into human capital.

Just like someone who’s healthy still goes to the gym, thoughtful families work on staying connected, establishing values and purpose, and keeping the main thing, the main thing.

At Total Family, we believe that when you help families, you help the world.  And we never forget that family is sacred ground.  We don’t define what “family” means—you do. Whether it's nuclear, blended, chosen, or beautifully complicated, it’s all yours.

Not every team can be a family, but every family can absolutely be a team.

If you’re reading this, you are a family leader. Family leadership means leading by example, crafting a deliberate culture grounded in values and purpose, and understanding that true wealth is the well-being of the family and its members.

“I wish a company like Total Family had existed when I needed it. But since it didn’t, we built it.”

— Alex Kirby, Founder & CEO

Why We Exist.

We’re built for families who want to:

Total Family is the first-ever family dynamics software.  We help families define their values, purpose, and craft a legacy—giving them real tools to strengthen communication, deepen connection, and make big decisions with clarity and confidence.

Whether you're building a family foundation, preparing for a liquidity event, or simply trying to have fewer awkward Thanksgiving conversations—we’re here to help.

What we believe.

Vision makes everything better.

Vision= Purpose + Values + Roles

Culture eats strategy
for breakfast

True family wealth
is well being

Great families are built with intentions

Our Values.

Connection

Authenticity

Hope

Support

Humor

frequently asked questions

  • Family Dynamics is the ever-changing relationships and communication within a family — however you define family. It’s a way to proactively invest in one of the most important areas of life, like you would with fitness or health, to keep your relationships strong over time.

  • Personal vision is about you. It’s your chance to reflect on your values (what matters most), your purpose (your “why”), and your roles (the parts of life you’re focused on right now).  It helps you get clear on who you are and how you want to show up—and gives you a common language to talk about what matters.

    Family vision builds on that. Once each person has defined their own vision, you can come together with your significant other to create a shared one—rooted in clarity, connection, and that same common language.

    That’s why we always start with your personal vision first. It gives everyone a voice and makes it easier to build something meaningful, together.

  • The hardest part of family dynamics is getting started.  Our software gives individuals and couples an easy way to create an initial draft of their personal and family vision.

    From there, you can continue to work in the software or book time with our expert family coaches.  We meet families where they are and support them when they need it.

  • Any individual can sign up at totalfamily.io/join to complete their personal vision. From there, you're strongly encouraged to invite your significant other to join you—so you can begin building a shared vision together.

    Once both people have joined, the software will link you as a household. The platform and our coaching are designed to support individuals and couples every step of the way.

  • Totally normal. You only see your family—but we’ve worked with lots of families, and trust us: every family has its quirks. The truth is, even with all the chaos, most people wouldn’t trade their family for anything.

    What you’ll get with Total Family is a process that’s positive, proactive, and practical—no matter what your starting point looks like.

    • Positive – Energizing, strength-based conversations. Maybe even fun?

    • Proactive – Like going to the gym for your relationships. You don’t have to wait for a crisis.

    • Practical – Everyone’s busy. But if family really is important, it’s worth pausing now and then to invest in it.

    Wild or not, you’re in the right place.



  • There’s no perfect life stage—but we’ve found that 8 out of 10 Total Family clients are parents or have children. These might be toddlers just learning to walk or adult kids who are long in the tooth themselves.

    That said, Total Family is for anyone—individuals, couples, or families—who are willing to spend a little time reflecting on what matters most. Whether it’s your personal values, your family culture, or the legacy you want to build, what matters more than your life stage is your mindset.

    If you’re ready to have more intentional conversations about your life and relationships, you’re in the right place.