A family walking together in the forest

First Edition • Annual Field Report · Published by Total Family

First Edition • Annual Field Report · Published by Total Family

State of the
Family 2026

State of the
Family 2026

State of the
Family 2026

one.

Legacy work starts earlier than almost anyone expects.

two.

Work takes more energy than any other role in our lives.

three.

What families want most is meaningful time together.

Foreword

A Foreword From the Founder

Why we are publishing
this report every year.

Why we are publishing
this report every year.

Why we are publishing
this report every year.

Legacy is often discussed as if it belongs to extraordinary wealth or the final chapter of life. We see something different. Legacy belongs to every family, and it is built while life is still happening.

Legacy is often discussed as if it belongs to extraordinary wealth or the final chapter of life. We see something different. Legacy belongs to every family, and it is built while life is still happening.

State of the Family is our annual field report on what families value, prioritize, and find difficult. This first edition draws from aggregated, anonymized activity between July 1, 2025 and June 30, 2026.

State of the Family is our annual field report on what families value, prioritize, and find difficult. This first edition draws from aggregated, anonymized activity between July 1, 2025 and June 30, 2026.

It is not a population study or an academic paper. It is a practical view of what real families are thinking about, working toward, and trying to preserve.

It is not a population study or an academic paper. It is a practical view of what real families are thinking about, working toward, and trying to preserve.

We plan to publish this report each year so families and their advisors can see how these patterns develop over time. Our hope is simple: make legacy easier to understand and easier to practice while families are busy living.

We plan to publish this report each year so families and their advisors can see how these patterns develop over time. Our hope is simple: make legacy easier to understand and easier to practice while families are busy living.

This work matters deeply to everyone in the Total Family ecosystem. It is only the beginning of understanding how families can do legacy better.

This work matters deeply to everyone in the Total Family ecosystem. It is only the beginning of understanding how families can do legacy better.

Alex Kirby

Founder, Total Family
Host of the Visionary Advisor podcast

A Note on ‘Family’

Family is however you choose to define it. We use the word inclusively, across every kind of relationship and situation.

Family is however you choose to define it. We use the word inclusively, across every kind of relationship and situation.

First Edition at a Glance

Three observations
from the field.

Three observations
from the field.

Three observations
from the field.

01

01

01

Legacy starts earlier than expected

58% of people with a known age were between 35 and 54. Legacy is being shaped while families are still building their lives.

02

02

02

Conversations matter

Families told us they want more support having the important life conversations they know are waiting.

03

03

03

FAMILIES SIMPLY WANT MEANINFUL TIME

Doing meaningful things together ranked as the leading family priority, ahead of every financial option.

About This Report

A proprietary field report based on aggregated, anonymized activity inside Total Family. Findings reflect Total Family users and are not intended to represent the general population.

01

01

Who is doing this work

Legacy work starts
earlier than many
people expect.

Legacy work starts
earlier than many
people expect.

Legacy work starts
earlier than many
people expect.

58%

of people with a known age were between 35 and 54.

of people with a known age were between 35 and 54.

Total Family users with a known age, Jul 1 2025 – Jun 30 2026.

Legacy is often viewed as something we do in our twilight years. It turns out the people doing this work are much younger than one might expect.

Legacy is often viewed as something we do in our twilight years. It turns out the people doing this work are much younger than one might expect.

The two largest age groups were 35–44 and 45–54. These are often the years when people are raising children, building careers, supporting aging parents, developing traditions, and deciding what the next chapter should mean.

The two largest age groups were 35–44 and 45–54. These are often the years when people are raising children, building careers, supporting aging parents, developing traditions, and deciding what the next chapter should mean.

Legacy is built while family life is still being built.

Legacy is built while family life is still being built.

These are the often years when people are raising children, building careers, and deciding what the next chapter should mean.

These are the often years when people are raising children, building careers, and deciding what the next chapter should mean.

Why This Matters

The generations that largely overlap this age band are also at the center of the Great Wealth Transfer. Cerulli projects Gen X and Millennials will inherit a combined $85 trillion through 2048.

The generations that largely overlap this age band are also at the center of the Great Wealth Transfer. Cerulli projects Gen X and Millennials will inherit a combined $85 trillion through 2048.

That scale is not proof of intent. But alongside Total Family’s age pattern, it is a signal that people in this demographic are legacy-curious and interested in being more deliberate about their personal lives.

That scale is not proof of intent. But alongside Total Family’s age pattern, it is a signal that people in this demographic are legacy-curious and interested in being more deliberate about their personal lives.

Cerulli: Unpacking the Great Wealth Transfer

“Prioritizing legacy isn’t always easy, but waiting until you’re 80 years old to get started is substantially more difficult.”

“Prioritizing legacy isn’t always easy, but waiting until you’re 80 years old to get started is substantially more difficult.”


Ken Haman · AllianceBernstein

A second signal comes from Total Family research conducted with The Harris Poll: adults ages 18–35 ranked Cultural Capital, the spirit of the family, as the most important factor in a family’s legacy. This suggests younger adults are not waiting until later life to think about the values, purpose, and identity their families carry forward.

The Harris Poll: America’s Great Wealth Transfer

02

02

Purpose

Personally we navigate.
As families we build.

Personally we navigate.
As families we build.

Personally we navigate.
As families we build.

33%

had survey responses aligning most closely with Navigator, the leading personal Purpose category.

had survey responses aligning most closely with Navigator, the leading personal Purpose category.

Purpose can be conceptual and difficult to grasp. Open-ended Purpose exercises can make it hard to arrive at something concrete. We begin with questions that help people take one small step: identifying the Purpose category that most closely reflects their personal why, their North Star.

Purpose can be conceptual and difficult to grasp. Open-ended Purpose exercises can make it hard to arrive at something concrete. We begin with questions that help people take one small step: identifying the Purpose category that most closely reflects their personal why, their North Star.

Life is a journey, and of course we must navigate it. Navigator was the #1 personal category at 33%, followed by Connector at 23%.

Life is a journey, and of course we must navigate it. Navigator was the #1 personal category at 33%, followed by Connector at 23%.

Navigator

Finds direction and adapts

33%

Connector

Brings people together

23%

Creator

Imagines and makes

15%

Builder

Creates foundations that last

12%

Conserver

Preserves what matters

9%

Protector

Safeguards people and well-being

8%

Personal Purpose categories. Purpose is assigned from survey responses, not selected from a list.

As families, we build.

As families, we build.

When people answered the same Purpose survey through the lens of their immediate family, they answered differently. Builder became the leading family category, and it resonates with many of us when we think about family.

When people answered the same Purpose survey through the lens of their immediate family, they answered differently. Builder became the leading family category, and it resonates with many of us when we think about family.

A shared Family Purpose is intentionally broad. One family created a Purpose statement we particularly like: “Leave it better than you found it.”

A shared Family Purpose is intentionally broad. One family created a Purpose statement we particularly like: “Leave it better than you found it.”

The statement works because a person can live it as a doctor, teacher, scientist, construction worker, volunteer, or parent. It gives the family shared direction while preserving the autonomy of every person inside it.

The statement works because a person can live it as a doctor, teacher, scientist, construction worker, volunteer, or parent. It gives the family shared direction while preserving the autonomy of every person inside it.

Leading Family Category

Builder

Builder

Builder

Reading the pattern: Personal Purpose often reflects movement and direction. Family Purpose more often reflects building something that lasts.

03

03

Energy

Work takes more energy
than any other role.

Work takes more energy
than any other role.

Work takes more energy
than any other role.

We ask: “Tell us how much energy each role is taking in your life right now.”
The answers create one of those moments of reality for all of us.

We ask: “Tell us how much energy each role is taking in your life right now.”
The answers create one of those moments of reality for all of us.

Career

33.1%

Spouse

25.5%

Parent

25.0%

Friend

12%

Average energy among people who selected each role as important. Career was selected by 84% of people.

Work takes more energy than anything else in our lives. The deeper question is whether this pattern is driven by choice or circumstance.

Work takes more energy than anything else in our lives. The deeper question is whether this pattern is driven by choice or circumstance.

What’s the optimal energy breakdown for you?

What’s the optimal energy breakdown for you?

Field Note

Importance and energy are different measures. The gap between them is often where reflection begins.

Importance and energy are different measures. The gap between them is often where reflection begins.

12%

average energy given to Friend, even though 82% ranked it among their five most important roles.

average energy given to Friend, even though 82% ranked it among their five most important roles.

The Good Life

Further Reading

The Good Life

Robert Waldinger & Marc Schulz · Harvard Study of Adult Development

Social fitness matters.

Social fitness matters.

The wider research shows this is not a small tension. In a 2024 Pew Research Center survey, 16% of U.S. adults said they felt lonely or isolated all or most of the time. The rate was 22% among adults under 50, compared with 9% among those 50 and older.

The wider research shows this is not a small tension. In a 2024 Pew Research Center survey, 16% of U.S. adults said they felt lonely or isolated all or most of the time. The rate was 22% among adults under 50, compared with 9% among those 50 and older.

Friendship remains important, but connection requires time. Our own finding highlights the tension between the relationships people value and the time and energy they give them.

Friendship remains important, but connection requires time. Our own finding highlights the tension between the relationships people value and the time and energy they give them.

This is another signal of the importance of social fitness: relationships stay healthy through repeated attention and practice. The Good Life, by Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz, makes that argument through the Harvard Study of Adult Development.

This is another signal of the importance of social fitness: relationships stay healthy through repeated attention and practice. The Good Life, by Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz, makes that argument through the Harvard Study of Adult Development.

Pew Research Center: Men, Women and Social Connections

04

04

Priorities

Families want
meaningful time together.

Families want
meaningful time together.

Families want
meaningful time together.

Meaningful time together ranked as the leading family priority. Many families we hear from want structured Family Meetings: a reason and a rhythm for being together.

Meaningful time together ranked as the leading family priority. Many families we hear from want structured Family Meetings: a reason and a rhythm for being together.

The human work
around wealth.

The human work
around wealth.

The two explicitly financial options ranked near the bottom of the family-priority results:

1. Making wise, values-aligned financial decisions

2. Managing money and resources responsibly

Money supports safety, opportunity, education, care, generosity, and family experiences. Wealth advisors do tremendously important work for families. At the same time, routine parts of financial management are becoming more automated and AI-assisted.

Money supports safety, opportunity, education, care, generosity, and family experiences. Wealth advisors do tremendously important work for families. At the same time, routine parts of financial management are becoming more automated and AI-assisted.

Total Family uses a five-capital lens for family well-being: Human, Social, Cultural, Intellectual, and Financial. Together they describe the whole-family balance sheet.

The 5 Capitals

Human

Health · Wellbeing · Individual capability

Social

Trust · Communication · Relationships

Cultural

Traditions · Rituals · The spirit of the family

Intellectual

Stories · Knowledge · Learned wisdom

Financial

Assets · Financial resources

“Families should exist to enhance the lives of their members.”

“Families should exist to enhance the lives of their members.”

James E. Hughes

Having money does not necessarily mean a family is flourishing. Financial Capital is one resource a family can use to strengthen the other four. Families want wealth advisors who understand the whole family balance sheet and can help direct resources toward health, learning, connection, shared purpose, and well-being.

Having money does not necessarily mean a family is flourishing. Financial Capital is one resource a family can use to strengthen the other four. Families want wealth advisors who understand the whole family balance sheet and can help direct resources toward health, learning, connection, shared purpose, and well-being.

Field Note

Financial outcomes support family life. Families define the life those resources are meant to serve.

Financial outcomes support family life. Families define the life those resources are meant to serve.

Total Family: Wealth as Well-Being

05

05

Values

Field Lens

Values become useful
when we define them.

Values become useful
when we define them.

Values become useful
when we define them.

Values are the principles we will not compromise. They name what matters most and help us make choices when good things compete. Of course you have values. Defining them is where the fun starts.

Values are the principles we will not compromise. They name what matters most and help us make choices when good things compete. Of course you have values. Defining them is where the fun starts.

71

71

71

Value words

15

15

15

Narrowed

5

5

5

Core values

The work begins when everything cannot make the final list.

The work begins when everything cannot make the final list.

“Values come first, and all else follows, in business, career, and life.”

“Values come first, and all else follows, in business, career, and life.”

Jim Collins

You cannot be all 71 words. Values require trade-offs.

No one else gets to live your Personal Values. That is up to you.

Total Family does not define users’ Values. Each person defines what those values mean for themselves.

You can take the Values Assessment more than once and change your values over time.

Leading Personal Core Values

Faith

29%

Gratitude

24%

Integrity

21%

Humor

17%

Connection

15%

Love

25%

Hard Work

24%

Authenticity

19%

Kindness

15%

Resilience

14%

Percentage of people who included each value among their five core values.

The list is not a prescription. It gives families a starting point for comparison and conversation. Defined Values can change as life changes.

Field Note

Defined Values give couples, parents, and children a common language for decisions and tradeoffs.

Defined Values give couples, parents, and children a common language for decisions and tradeoffs.

06

06

The practice gap

The Practice Gap

Where families feel
they need the most help.

Where families feel
they need the most help.

Where families feel
they need the most help.

01

01

01

Stories from past generations

Preserving what earlier generations knew and lived. Intellectual Capital.

Begin small: record one story.

02

02

02

Differing perspectives

Holding difference without fracture. Human Capital.

Begin small: ask one person how they see it.

03

03

03

Important life conversations

The talks that wait until a crisis forces them. Social Capital.

Begin small: name one topic the family has avoided.

04

04

04

Traditions and rituals

The rhythms that carry a family’s identity. Cultural Capital.

Begin small: protect one tradition by putting it on the calendar.

These are not abstract gaps. Each connects to one of the five forms of family wealth, and each can be strengthened.

These are not abstract gaps. Each connects to one of the five forms of family wealth, and each can be strengthened.

Legacy becomes real through repetition.

Legacy becomes real through repetition.

The opportunity is not to create a perfect family system; it is to make the next meaningful practice easier to begin and easier to repeat.

The opportunity is not to create a perfect family system; it is to make the next meaningful practice easier to begin and easier to repeat.

Field Note

Small, repeatable practices turn the five forms of family wealth into lived legacy

Small, repeatable practices turn the five forms of family wealth into lived legacy

Intentional families are not perfect families. They are families that keep returning to what matters.

Intentional families are not perfect families. They are families that keep returning to what matters.

07

07

From insight to practice

From Insight to Practice

Making legacy practical
for busy families.

Making legacy practical
for busy families.

Making legacy practical
for busy families.

01

01

01

Start Earlier

Legacy matters while families are raising children, building careers, forming traditions, and deciding what comes next.

02

02

02

Name What Matters

Narrow Values, define them, and use them in real decisions.

03

03

03

Look at Energy Honestly

The Roles that matter most may not be receiving the energy they deserve.

04

04

04

Build a Shared Direction

An individual can navigate alone. A family needs a clearer sense of what it is building together.

05

05

05

Practice Legacy

Tell stories. Preserve traditions. Discuss differences. Talk before a crisis forces the conversation.

Start with one conversation. Then keep going.

Start with one conversation. Then keep going.

08

08

Questions worth asking

Five 30-Second Reflections

Questions worth asking
your family.

Questions worth asking
your family.

Questions worth asking
your family.

01

01

01

Purpose

What personal purpose has always been present in your life?

02

02

02

Energy

Which role matters deeply but receives less energy than you want it to?

03

03

03

Attention

What is getting more of your attention than you want it to?

04

04

04

Values

What is the first word that comes to mind when you think of your personal values?

05

05

05

Tradition

What is your favorite family tradition?

About Total Family

Total Family partners with wealth advisors and families to make legacy work practical, accessible, and part of everyday life.

To begin, ask your wealth advisor to enroll your family. Learn more at totalfamily.io.

Selected Outside References

James E. Hughes Foundation · The Five Capitals

Visionary Advisor · Robert Balentine

Pew Research Center · Men, Women and Social Connections

The Harris Poll · Life stage and generational values

Ken Haman · AllianceBernstein

Cerulli · Unpacking the Great Wealth Transfer

Simon & Schuster · The Good Life

This field report supports reflection and conversation and should not be interpreted as professional advice.

 © 2026 Total Family State of the Family 2026 · First Edition Reporting Period Jul 1 2025 – Jun 30 2026 

 © 2026 Total Family State of the Family 2026 · First Edition Reporting Period Jul 1 2025 – Jun 30 2026